Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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