You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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