Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
