You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
