she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
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Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
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i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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