There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
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Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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