i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I could fuck to npr.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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