So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
