made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize