Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
