so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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