Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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