The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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