Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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