I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
do nipples grow back?
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