Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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