so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
