well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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