On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so let's talk penis.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
