no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
