I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
