The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
