it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize