So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
