"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
