so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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