i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
