Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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