he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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