can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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