Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
