She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
