friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
