You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish you could order shots online.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
