Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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