Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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