I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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