Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
