i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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