I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Damn victory sex feels great
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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