brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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