We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize