If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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