OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
