Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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