I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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