Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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