He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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