i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
