i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
