I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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