then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
