my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He better not be in your backpack
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
there is glitter all over my balls
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
