I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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