You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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