i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
