You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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