can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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