i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
