Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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