you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
