I have demons in me.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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