Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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