he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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