Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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